We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
