Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
