dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize