So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
