so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I puked a lego.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
