She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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