how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
ugly people sure do ruin things
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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