i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
