we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
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