We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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