Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I have aggressive nipples.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
