He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
