yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
