sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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