is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Randomize