I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
