My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
