Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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