I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
