with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
