Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
