I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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