i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize