omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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