You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
