i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
