went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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