hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
