Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
