Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize