That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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