God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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