you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
