great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
