So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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