just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
