am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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