Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
