I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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