Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
