all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
