Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So squirting runs in the family.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
