Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize