my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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