They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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