he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
