Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
