How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
one might say we're banned from that church
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
