this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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