i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
