I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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