Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
