so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
