Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
