The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
