So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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