your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
