no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
