she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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