Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
