just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
